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How to Make Your Marriage Gayer for Greater Satisfaction February 17, In the traditional family values vs modern two parts of our series on reinventing marriage, you discovered prehistoric reasons why we we are not wired to be faithful. You learned how some modern couples practice polyamory as an honorable alternative to illicit affairs and lying that often lead to divorce. This is the third and final part of my interview with Christopher Ryan Ph. Many people will continue valuss strive for sexual fidelity in marriage. They will resist the concept that our essential sexual nature is promiscuity, not monogamy. If modern life contradicts our evolved predisposition, then we suffer. If the life we live differs too much from the life our bodies are designed for, then we get diseases.

traditional family values vs modern

Our bodies were designed to have several ongoing sexual relationships at one time. How so? If you look at the primates that are closest to humans, the bonobos and chimps, they are multi-male and multi-female maters.

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This creates sperm competition because the females have sex with different men in each menstrual cycle. Who stays around to raise their offspring? Primarily the mother raises the infant and the food is shared in their group. We tend to think that a woman trades her sexual fidelity to a man so that he will provide food and shelter.

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But historically, people have always shared everything. Is there a modern society who lives this way? The Mosuo tribe of 50, people live this way near Tibet.

traditional family values vs modern

Every adult has absolute sexual autonomy. Every woman has a door in her bedroom that opens onto the street.

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She can invite any man to stay the night, but he must be gone before breakfast. Men see as many women as they desire. What happens to the offspring of these sexual unions? Children are raised by the mother and her mother and her brothers who all live together. The fathers neither live with nor raise their children.

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So their view of family values has nothing to do with traditional marriage nor monogamy? Our conception of marriage traditiknal the moment is not traditional. When we adjust it, we should do it in ways that benefit the children and protect them from the emotional anguish of divorce. To achieve that goal, couples may need to learn to recover from infidelity, without throwing away their marriage over it.

traditional family values vs modern

Do you agree? Too many marriages end in divorce because of this silliness. If a couple is honest and looks at infidelity as a growth opportunity, they can stay together. You can find out how different cultures deal with infidelity in the book, Lust In Translation, by Pamela Druckerman.]

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